The other day I was in the local Toys R Us, checking things out as I usually do. There were these 3 guys there looking at the Transformers. I could tell that they were about sixteen years old because one of them mentioned that he was 6 when Beast Wars came out. These guys were really loud and obnoxious, as 16 year olds often tend to be when in a plural form. They were talking about how Transformers suck now, though it became woefully apparent that they haven’t had any exposure to Transformers at all in the past few years.

They were saying things like how Beast Wars was so much better than the new “car Transformers“, and calling the new series “the square ones” (!?). All of this despite two very glaringly obvious points. First, that the new series had beast characters, several of which were hanging on the pegs directly in front of them (neither of them being at all “square” in shape), and second, that the Beast Wars 10th Anniversary toys were just below were they were looking and they had no bloody idea.

I observed for awhile, morbidly intrigued by this train-wreck of a conversation, until one of them finally noticed that reissued versions of the Beast Wars toys they were talking about were right under their noses. Of course, this lead the conversation directly into how these figures were bigger and better when they were kids. For crying out loud. Once they figured out that these toys were released for the 10th Anniversary, they could not believe that it had been so long, and assumed that this had to mean the very original Transformers from back when they were first born. Right. The concept of time must be a very tricky thing for kids nowadays.

It took some composure on my part not to step in and set these guys straight, because it really seemed like they barely knew right from left at this point, but nothing would be gained from that. I was wearing my Decepticon hat at the time, and I’m positive that at least one of them noticed, but I shouldn’t be surprised that they didn’t ask me about anything. Let’s just not let the facts stand in the way of superior teenaged ignorance while hanging out at the mall, huh?

The really funny thing is that when I was 16 years old, the new Transformers were Beast Wars! People just like these clowns were saying that Beast Wars sucked and the old ones, the “car Transformers“, were so much better. Not me though! I was all over the new stuff, and I still am today.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Sayonara.

Well, like I assume everyone else is has been doing this week, I’ve been immersing myself in the news coming out of the Electronic Entertainment Expo. These are going to be very exciting times. IGN seems to be as good of a source as any for all the latest.

The Playstation 3 coming in at $600 is just bloody ridiculous. What on Earth are they thinking? I can’t ever see myself justifying that purchase at that price. With games and an extra controller to buy, that’s an incredibly hefty investment. And speaking of controller, what the hell do they think they are doing trying to rip off Nintendo with their tacked on tilt functionality? Talk about guts. Did they honestly think people wouldn’t notice what they are doing with that? The whole thing just screams of being a knee jerk reaction to Nintendo’s controller. If they are so confident that people will pay all that money for their system, then why do they seem so afraid that they have to try and copy their competitor’s idea? It really makes Sony look bad, especially after they dismissed such technology as a simple gimmick, but I guess this sort of thing is to be expected from a company that doesn’t seem to have a single original thought of its own.

The Nintendo Wii looks like fun. I didn’t care much for the name at first, but I’ve quickly gotten used to it. I’m pretty much in complete agreement with Nintendo’s assessment of the current state of video gaming. Something disruptive needs to happen, and I think that this system is just the ticket to making a lot of people have fun again. I want one. I don’t know if I’ll do the whole “line up at Midnight on Launch day” thing, but I’m not going to rule that out either!

I think the biggest news, though, is the new Super Smash Bros. It was looking as if they were not going to show anything regarding this game, but then it suddenly came without warning. The preview video is amazing! The graphics look awesome, the music is epic, and I’m sure the game will be a blast. The new characters look great too. Metaknight is super cool and a character I’ve wanted in the series for awhile. Pit is a welcome addition. Zero-Suit Samus is a hottie. Wario is finally confirmed. But then it just takes a dip into the surreal.

Snake is in this game? Snake from Metal Gear Solid? I still can’t believe it! This just blows the roof off of any and all possibilities! Non-Nintendo characters are going to be in the next Smash Bros, fighting right along with Mario, Link, Kirby, and the rest. If Snake is in it, then who else could there be? Pac-man? Sonic the Hedgehog? Mega Man? Viewtiful Joe? Bomberman? Simon Belmont? BATMAN? Well, probably not Batman, but you get the idea. The mind boggles at the potential this game could have. I can’t wait.

What are you excited about at E3? Who do you want to see in the next Smash Bros.? Talk about it.

Sayonara.

Yesterday I suddenly got a huge backlog of 40 or so e-mails that hadn’t been sent to me on time for some reason, dating as far back to a few weeks ago. I don’t know why this happened, but it’s no big loss. Most of them were spam trying to sell me drugs, porn, and gambling, none of which I am at all interested in. But there were two that originated from my Guestbook that were pretty funny!

First came this charming entry. My, does it not paint such an interesting picture of the person who wrote it?

Why do you keep deleting my comments? Are you scared, you little girl? Do you only make fun of those below you, and are afraid of higher ups (like myself)? Go kill yourself, you moronic 34 year old virgin. Your art sucks too. And until you reply to me, I’m going to keep on doing this.

And next came this. Keep in mind that I only just got the both of these together, so I didn’t even have a chance to respond at the time.

Why do you keep ignoring me? Hahaha. Have you lost your edge? Can’t find any insults for me? WAHAHAHAHA. I laugh at you.

Well, first of all, I want to sincerely apologize (ha ha) for not saying anything about this until now. Obviously, you are upset because you hold my opinion is such high regard! Like I said above, I didn’t see these comments until yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t make much of a difference because you are just a jackass troll looking for attention and I probably wouldn’t have paid you any mind at the time. So if you’ve been coming here to make fun of me just so you could see what I have to say about it, well then I’m sorry but I’m not under any sort of obligation to say or do anything for anyone. But, hey, it’s your lucky day, because here I am looking for something to write about, and there you are being an idiot. Since this is so enlightening to everyone involved, I’ll grant your wish this time.

Now, let’s be honest here. Both of these messages came in completely anonymously. So, what exactly am I suppose to do about it? Get all upset over how somebody I don’t even know who won’t tell me who they are doesn’t like me and won’t tell me why? Oh, boo hoo! Come on now, get real. Unless you are willing to tell me who you are, I really don’t care if you think my artwork sucks or that I’m a little girl or what have you. It means very little to me.

I mean, let’s face it. There is more than one person out there who thinks I suck. Now unless you all tell me who you are, how in the hell am I supposed to know who’s who? My website is set up so that people can leave anonymous feedback if they so choose, which is fine, because should that feedback be a bunch of juvenile insults then I can laugh and ignore it if I so choose. But if you’re going out of your way to make some sort of statement, and only God knows just what the hell you are trying to prove because I sure don’t, could you at least tell me who you are? Put on a name tag or something! You want me to reply so badly, and you taunt me as if I am scared, but you don’t even have the guts to tell me who you are and why you seem to hate me so much!

What are you afraid of? What is the worst that I could possibly do in retaliation if I knew who you were? I’m a busy man. I’m happy to spend the time writing about this in my weblog because, quite frankly, I’m amused by it and I think other people reading this will be entertained by how much of a moron you are. But otherwise I just don’t seem to have the time that you and people like you seem to enjoy spending in your quest to tell me that I suck. I have better things to do than hunt you down and get revenge. I’m not going to destroy your computer with my Internet powers or get the cops to take you away or anything like that. All I would ever do is completely obliterate you in a battle of wits, just like I’ve done to everyone else. You are otherwise completely safe, so stop being such a bloody coward.

As far as deleting your comments goes, I haven’t deleted anything. It doesn’t work like that. If I don’t want you comments to be there, then they just won’t be there! No deletion necessary because they wouldn’t be there to delete in the first place. Now look, you ask me why I keep deleting *your* comments, but because you don’t leave a proper name and e-mail address, I don’t know who you are, and so I don’t know what comments you are talking about! Don’t be so bloody arrogant to think that you are the only wanker out there who hates me! I have no problem with comments from people who don’t like me. That’s fine. Most of them are funny. But you, coming back again and again (to a website you run by a guy who claim to not even like, no less) just to see if you have made your mark, that’s not funny. That’s pretty sad.

Ah, on second thought, it’s still pretty funny. But I’m twisted like that.

Next, I know that your e-mail address isn’t really ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com like you entered. I know this because, well, that’s my e-mail address now! I just opened up that account, and I’ve got a great idea for what we can do with it. You can just go right ahead and pick whichever of your real, valid, working e-mail addresses that you may happen to be in possession of, and you send whatever spiteful nonsense that happens to tickle your fancy at the moment right on over to ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com. I can’t possibly make it any easier than that. Oh, wait, yes I can. I’ll write that link again. ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com! There. Just click that link and let ‘er rip! But, please, while you are telling me how much my artwork sucks and how I’m 34 years old and how I’m a girl or whatever other garbage you have to say, you could at least afford me a little bit of context to work within and tell me who you are, why you hate me so much, and what exactly you hope to accomplish my telling me this. I really want to know, so that this information may enrich my life!

I’m not going to listen to, respond to, or acknowledge anything hateful you or anyone else has to say right now unless it is sent to ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com. So stay off the guestbook and the contact form and everything else, because you don’t need it anymore. You said that you would keep attacking me until I replied. Well, now I have replied, and everyone has read this and everyone knows how pathetic you are for saying that. I seriously, seriously doubt that you have what it takes to make a difference. I seriously doubt that there is anything you could possibly say that would make me realize what you think is true or change my mind about anything in any way, shape, or form. But I invite you to try and prove me wrong through ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com. Remember, that’s ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com! Just click on it and let’s talk about this! It’s so convenient, you have no excuse not to do it!

Oh, and by the way… umm… let’s see here… you’re a dumb piece of crap and your mother is a ho. There, that should motivate you!

ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com! I’ll be waiting!

Sayonara.

This is shocking! Completely and utterly shocking! I still can’t believe it, but it’s true. As far as I am concerned, this is just the greatest news in all of human history!

You see, people would often ask me what my favorite anime is. Now, I have a lot of favorites, so I usually will just say whichever series I happen to be into the most at the time. But I would do this knowing that if I were to say the name of the one series that ranks above all others in my mind, I would receive a blank stare of confusion. My all time favorite anime is a series that is mostly obscure to the general North American anime fan population, but those who truly know their stuff herald this show as the greatest robot series ever created. My exposure to this show comes from badly translated bootlegs I bought from a Singapore based eBay seller, but even through all the broken English in the subtitles I could see how awesome this series really is.

And yet, dispite how great it is, most people would never know about it because it’s almost 10 years old and has never been officially released outside of Asia. Most of the fans have resolved themselves to how this series would never see a legitimate release in North America. And that is what makes this news so bloody hard to believe! But thanks to Media Blasters, the same company that is bringing us Voltron, it is happening!

Finally, one of the the most awesome animated series of all time has been licensed for distribution in English!

GAOGAIGAR!!!!!!

That’s right, according to Anime on DVD, King of Braves: GaoGaiGar is coming to R1 DVD this August!

Never heard of GaoGaiGar? Let me explain. It’s an incredible show with hotblooded heroes, gigantic robots, and lots of ass kicking! It’s a return to the roots of anime, without any of the angsty pretty boy nonsense that has plagued the medium for so long. This is a show where the good guys are good, the bad guys are bad, and the volume is turned all the way up. Don’t believe me? Just watch this and you’ll see what I mean.

This show is so awesome, and I can’t wait for legitimate copies to finally be available on the shelves. Then, when people ask what my favorite anime is, I can proudly exclaim that it’s GaoGaiGar, the greatest robot series ever created!

FINAL FUSION!

Sayonara.

Ok, this is going to sound crazy, but I had this really weird dream recently. It was pretty vivid, and the imagery seemed very realistic. To the best of my recollection, this is how it went.

I was in a Toys R Us store, looking at stuff that I would want to buy. I have had this sort of toy store dream many times, going all the way back to when I was a kid. Usually the store is full of items that either are no longer available to buy anymore, or items that do not even exist in reality. It’s like a paradise for kids and collectors! With this sort of dream I am always left in a state of disappointment once I realize that none of it is real and I do not actually get to keep everything I see. However, in this particular dream, things worked out a lot differently.

This Toys R Us I was in wasn’t laid out like they are nowadays. It was more like they used to be before the business was renovated. There were long, tall, wide aisles full of action figures. For some reason, likely based on my experiences at a Toys R Us that I used to frequent before it closed down, I could judge from the look of the wall and ceiling that I was in the discount aisle. Score, cheap toys!

There in this discount aisle are some Ninja Turtles figures, and I notice that there is a variation on a certain figure. One figure had some orange colouration on it, while another figure of the same character had the orange replaced by yellow. I distinctly remember holding these two figures up against each other to compare. I had the feeling in this dream that I should be saving money, but since the prices on these figures were good, I bought some anyway. Then I had the feeling that if I was spending a little bit of money, then I might as well spend some more!

So, I looked at the Star Wars figures, located just further up the aisle. The packaging of these figures was very different than what they are really like. It was more along the lines of the vintage Star Wars toys, with large, full colour images of each individual character covering the entire card backing. The figures themselves looked about as detailed as the more modern Star Wars lines. But there was one figure that stood out, and I had to have it. It was Darth Vader, but he had a blue lightsaber instead of red! Woah! What is the story behind that? I can only imagine it being some sort of wild alternate reality where anything is possible. So I had to take that home with me too, and with it I grabbed several more Star Wars figures that were hanging from the same peg. For some reason it was understood to me in this dream that they were not very expensive either.

Well, since I was spending money on all of this stuff, I guess I figured that I might as well buy some more. So I spotted these white, rectangular boxes on a shelf underneath the action figure pegs. I don’t even pause to look at what they are, but for some reason I decide that I’m buying 3 of them. I stick the stack of toys under my arm and go to pay for them. But when I finally get around to looking at these mysterious items, I discover from the side of the packaging that they are sports figures! What did I buy these for? I have no interest in that sort of thing! And to top it all off, two of the three are exactly the same. How could I be so careless? I wonder what I should do with them, and take them out of the plastic shopping bag to get a closer look, only to discover a shocking plot twist.

Despite the packaging, the clear window in the front would reveal that the contents of these boxes were actually not sports figures at all.

They were…. POKEMON!

It is at this point in the dream that I realize that none of this has happened, that I am asleep, and that I probably should be waking up soon. I then feel a soothing sense of relief, because I know that I did not actually spend any of that money, which I had planned to spend for real at TransformersCon this month.

I guess this is what happens when just about everywhere you live and work is covered with action figures. That’s what it’s like for me, and I’ve always enjoyed that. But now, I wonder…

What does it all mean?!

Sayonara.