I couldn’t believe it, but it’s true. This weekend I got an e-mail from a familiar old enemy. Yes, the disgruntled former student who originally was identified only as “samurai_blade_60“, but has since come to be known the world over as the Stupid Samurai, has made a new appearance with a completely unprovoked and irrational attack. This website has been largely inactive for a long time and it’s been ages since I last got a hate mail. I never would have guessed at this time that I’d get a repeat customer out of the blue like this!

The Stupid Samurai was made famous by a little article I wrote 6 years ago called “Stupid People HATE Ninjatron“, where I publicly responded to some of the hate mail I had gotten at the time. As a refresher, here is that original text from years ago, presented again in a completely unedited form.

i dont really your art you rely to much on style pluse you think your japanese but your not first of all its good you shaved your head bald but you think that makes you a monk. any if you taught more about the anime structure then every one would be good at it. but you think oh they’ll learn how to draw anime the first class. then you tell us yo draw chibi’s thats cool and all but how the heck do you draw a chibi in perspective and you should teach the class how to draw male and female anime character but comic book masters only focus’s on male. and last but not least teach hte class how to draw muscles.PS: your the GAIJIN!!!!

Wow, it blows my mind trying to read that even today.

The point seems to be that he took my how to draw anime classes at the now defunct Comic Book Masters drawing school and did not enjoy the experience. Now, based on the utter incoherency of this text and complete disregard for spelling and grammar, it was pretty clear at the time that this Samurai was, shall we say, a little slow. Fair enough. But taking 6 years to respond? That’s something else!

But, perhaps that was a good thing. Perhaps in the past 6 years, the Stupid Samurai had taken the time to examine himself, to become more educated and articulate, and to gain a more mature mind set. Here is a small sample of what he had to say to me in a recent correspondence. Once again, this is completely unedited. You be the judge.

You may remember me sending you a message a few years back, one in which you attached a faggy ass picture titled stupid samurai. If you don’t remember to bad because you were the joke of the year at comic book masters back then. I guess it’s childish to insult you once more, but what the hell your face annoys me. Stop trying to be asian, seriously I can not stress this enough, The asian community is pretty close to slicing off you egg rolls with a samurai sword. The bandana has got to go you like ***** Axel rose!

Hmm, it’s a little easier to read, so I’ll give him that much. But in these past 6 years, he has clearly become a very angry youth! He even admits that it’s childish to insult me, and then litters the entire message with vile, disgusting, childish insults, completely baseless and without any point behind them. And he apparently speaks for the entire Asian community as well, though I am sure that the Asian community would much prefer to be referred to with a capital A in Asian, seeing as it’s a continent and all. Not sure what Axel Rose has to do with any of this, but I’m pretty sure he’s not Asian so I’m confused as to the direction of where this is all going.

I’m not going to post it all here, but basically everything he’s sent me thus far is nothing but insults. The jist of it being that I’m a bad artist, a bad teacher, that I want to be Asian, and that these things must mean that I’m gay, apparently. News to me on those last two, but whatever. All this anger is based on things that happened more than 6 years ago, and I have not had any contact with him since. Pretty sad, really. I’m sure he thinks he has an actual point, but he hasn’t expressed it to me as of yet. So I am left to wonder just what brought on this unprovoked attack and just what is he trying to accomplish with it?

Anyway, he closes by saying not to bother responding to the e-mail because the address he used is fake, and I should do it on my website should I chose to respond, but that he doubts I will. Well, how’s that for courage! Yet another in the legions of morons who act like tough guys on the Internet but can’t be bothered to stand behind their words with a proper e-mail address. Well, I’m used to that. Besides, as if I would ever ignore a new message from one of my favorite flamers ever!

So, presented here to all is my official response to The Stupid Samurai.

Dear Stupid Samurai.

Below is my official response to your comments from this past weekend.

Bite me.

Regards,

Ninjatron.

Short, simple, clear, and concise.

That’s all I really need to say to him right now. I’ve got no interest in defending myself against baseless insults made by someone like this. If he doesn’t like my artwork or teaching, then that’s fine. Chances are that he hasn’t seen anything I’ve done in the past 6 years, so whatever. It’s his opinion, and he’s entitled to it. It’s a subjective opinion, so it doesn’t bother me. Since he presents his opinion in a crude, crass, ill informed and insulting way, my opinion is that he’s an idiot. But my opinion is not subjective, because it is a fact that his usage of spelling and grammar is pathetic. If he were not an idiot, he’d have at least attempted to spell properly and would have proved his point so without resorting to childish insults. And so, based on the materials that he himself provided to me, I have no choice but to form the opinion that his opinion is garbage.

But wait, there’s more!

It seems our little Samurai is not content to just send his insults though e-mail. Not only has he also taken the fight to my guestbook, but he’s got his sights set on my message board as well! The message board hasn’t gotten a new post in over a year now, but that hasn’t stopped the Samurai from registering for an account. He’s actually using the game “Stupid samurai”, which amuses me greatly. Well, he’s attempting to, anyway. You see, in order to register for a message board, you must first have a valid, working e-mail address. The Stupid one has certainly lived up to his name by trying to sign up using the same e-mail address he said was fake. Silly Samurai, everyone knows you need a real e-mail to use a message board! You fail at Internet!

However, even though I might be asking for trouble, I fully encourage Stupid Samurai, all of his like-minded friends, and anyone else who has a problem with me, to sign up for the message board so that we may have a conversation about how terrible I really am. In fact, I have taken the liberty of creating a brand new forum: The Anti-Ninjatron Clan! This is a forum especially for insulting me. This way, you can say what you like, I’ll have a chance to respond, and everyone can enjoy the proceedings. Anything goes in there! Who knows, maybe I’ll agree with you! Just be aware, the first post of the Anti-Ninjatron Clan is mine, and anyone else who posts there will have to top it if they even think they’ve got a chance at defeating me!

So there you have it, Samurai. This lowly Ninja has given you the perfect opportunity to attack me head on. Samurai code, no matter how stupid you may be, demands that you answer this challenge.

See you on the battlefield!

Sayonara.

So, as I was saying last time, this past week I was teaching a how to draw anime class as part of a special summer camp program for a kids’ art studio in Toronto. It was a long trek back and forth every day, and a few of the students were most certainly not on their best behavior, so it was quite an exhausting experience. Plus, it wasn’t just limited to me going in there and teaching. I also had to set aside time for the kids to have a snack, which I expected, but at the very last moment I was told that I also had to supervise the student’s lunch and walk them to the park. That was something of a surprise. I didn’t have a problem doing that, but still, I’m just an art teacher. Anyway, despite the student’s ages being much younger than I’d have liked to teach this material to, most of them actually did some really good artwork all things considered. Well, the ones who were well behaved did a good job. The ones who didn’t behave… not so much. Funny how that works, huh?

There was this one kid who was just the biggest pain. His mom brought him in on the first day and said that he loved stuff like Pokemon and that she had actually taken him to see Ponyo. He was the oldest student there and with all this in mind I figured that he’d be a good one, exactly the kind I like to teach. Boy was I wrong. This kid was incredibly obnoxious and clearly had some kind of attention problem, as he was always twitching, looking away, and interrupting everything with his own conversations. As the week wore on, he kept on yelling “Picklejinx” for no reason. When he was told to stop, he tried to find other ways of saying “Picklejinx” without actually saying it, including saying “Pumpkinjinx” or writing “Picklejinx” on a piece of paper. Before he left on the last day, I guess he figured there were no more rules, so he just kept on yelling “Picklejinx” over and over again. Now, was his artwork any good? Of course not. There was a definite improvement over the week, but he still refused to take the time and make the effort to do a good job. If he used all the energy he wasted being a brat on drawing instead, he’d have been much better for the experience. But no matter how much time I took to speak with him and demonstrate the techniques, he always went back to his old disruptive tricks. It’s too bad, but really, he’s got no one to blame but himself. Kind of reminds me of somebody else I know. But more on that some other time.

Anyway, I didn’t go right home after the last lesson on Friday. I headed straight for the convention center and got in line for Fan Expo! I enjoyed it this year. The convention is really expanding with a lot more corporate sponsorship. Kind of like San Diego but with 90% less Twilight! Some of the highlights for me included:

– Seeing the English dub of the recent Neon Genesis Evangelion re-make movie on a big screen with a huge audience of fans. It was a gooooooooooooood movie! I thoroughly enjoyed watching it there.

– Linda Hamilton and Bruce Campbell each had panels that I went to. Linda’s was very cool, informative, and funny, and Bruce basically insulted the audience at every turn and we all ate it up.

– The masquerade on Saturday was a lot of fun, with a totally excellent 1800’s steampunk style X-Men group stealing the show. Also there was a very funny Watchmen group that was “interrupted” by a guy with a “The End is Nigh” sign, causing Nite Owl to go insane using the audio from the Family Guy parody of Christian Bale chewing out the lighting guy. I almost choked with laughter.

– The TMNT 25th anniversary panel. This was the part of the whole convention that I was most looking forward to, and it didn’t disappoint. There was a loosely edited preview of an upcoming documentary about the Ninja Turtles and their fans, and it looked like a really exciting project from what I saw. There was also about 20 minutes of the upcoming “Turtles Forever” animated movie, where the modern animated Turtles meet the 80’s animated Turtles! It was AWESOME. I can’t wait to see the whole thing!

– I bought 6 wristbands, a few artbooks, and a Transformers Universe Ironhide, which I had been trying to get for months.

All in all it was a good time.

So, now that I’ve written all of this, I can move on to talking about other things. You see, this is very exciting, because someone from the past has returned! An infamous figure that I know you all remember!

Don’t you fret now, Mr. “Stupid Samurai“. I’m sure you understand that I needed to take care of all of this stuff for my blog first. I will get to you in due time. Look forward to it.

Sayonara.

I’ll be at Fan Expo 2009 this weekend in Toronto. Looks like it’ll be a good time. Really looking forward to the Ninja Turtles 25th anniversary panel.

I’ve been teaching a how to draw anime class for kids every day this week. The oldest student, and coincidentally the worst behaved, is only 9 years old. Not what I thought I was signing up for, but this is what I have to deal with. It’s been pretty exhausting, especially the trek back and forth from the heart of Toronto. As soon as I’m done on Friday, I’ll be headed straight to the convention center. I imagine that I’ll probably be pretty winded by day’s end.

Pretty winded right now, actually, so that’ll be it for this week.

Sayonara.

There was an incredible thunderstorm in the Toronto area today. The sky changed to a dark gray, the winds howled, and the thunder cracked quite audibly as it the rain poured down. I seriously pity anyone who got caught outside without shelter.

The worst of it lasted only a moment, but as the weather subsided, I couldn’t believe what I saw. The sky had become an otherworldly shade of orange. The entire house was bathed in this orange glow. Looking across the backyard, a surreal sharpness and clarity had overtaken the air, a stark contrast to the blurry chaos of the rain and wind that preceded it by meer moments. An absolutely massive rainbow hung overhead, the biggest I’ve ever seen, with very a wide arc. Each colour completely distinguishable from the last.

I took a picture from within my office to try and capture the moment. Unfortunate the unmovable window screen was in the way, but you can still see the unique colour outside. I have not modified this photograph at all except to resize it.

This was taken at 8:00 PM, and the sun hadn’t gone down yet. As the clouds started to fade, bits of the traditional bright blue summer sky revealed itself from underneath the orange haze. Now, as I type this, the sun is setting and the sky has gone from orange to purple, a different shade every time I glance back up at the window.

It was an unbelievable display of colour and light. I just had to describe what I was seeing in tangible terms so that I wouldn’t forget. I have never seen anything quite like this, and I wouldn’t ever expect to in a decidedly non-tropical place like Toronto

I think nature uses Photoshop.

Sayonara.

So my cousin got married last weekend. It was suggested to me by another cousin that I should write a report about the wedding and present it as a wedding present. This was a good idea that I had not thought of. I would have taken notes if I had the foresight. But, as the ceremony progressed, I knew from my own internal commentary that there was no way I would ever write any of it down. It was just too evil and cruel. Funny, but evil and cruel. Since this took place in a church, I wasn’t about to risk anything by violently satirizing the proceedings. Therefore I’ll just keep my thoughts to myself.

I’ve been quite busy teaching this month. I started a new teaching job at a local art academy not too far from where I live. It’s a Comics and Animation program for young kids. The class sizes are kept small and they seem to be interested. I’ve been having fun so far. This month’s classes are sort of a preview of what’s to come, and should there be enough new students, things will really kick off next month in a big way. I’ll talk more about it later.

This past week I also taught the second of 2 summer camp cartooning lessons at the private school I’ve been working at. It was much easier on my throat than the first one. I taught around 90 students over the course of the day, from grades 1-8. Some of these students were quite interesting characters.

There was one little girl who drew some kind of scary faceless monster and explained to me how this was a creature that was haunting her nightmares. It was interesting that she would share these things with me, someone she had never met before. So, I suggested that she try dreaming about a baseball bat to hit it with.

There was another girl in one of the older classes who was very short and presented me with a piece of green construction paper with symmetrical slots cut out of it. This likely originated from some sort of earlier craft project. She says that she made this for me. I said that I had just gotten there and we didn’t even know each other. So she shakes my hand and introduces her self. How cute.

Even funnier was this little boy with gigantic ears and a funny voice who asked if I could draw a “bawed“. I said “A baw-ed? What’s a baw-ed?” before eventually figuring out that he was saying “bird“. Yes, these people actually exist!

I think the other teachers got more out of the class than the students, but everyone had fun so mission accomplished, I guess.

Sayonara.