Yesterday I suddenly got a huge backlog of 40 or so e-mails that hadn’t been sent to me on time for some reason, dating as far back to a few weeks ago. I don’t know why this happened, but it’s no big loss. Most of them were spam trying to sell me drugs, porn, and gambling, none of which I am at all interested in. But there were two that originated from my Guestbook that were pretty funny!

First came this charming entry. My, does it not paint such an interesting picture of the person who wrote it?

Why do you keep deleting my comments? Are you scared, you little girl? Do you only make fun of those below you, and are afraid of higher ups (like myself)? Go kill yourself, you moronic 34 year old virgin. Your art sucks too. And until you reply to me, I’m going to keep on doing this.

And next came this. Keep in mind that I only just got the both of these together, so I didn’t even have a chance to respond at the time.

Why do you keep ignoring me? Hahaha. Have you lost your edge? Can’t find any insults for me? WAHAHAHAHA. I laugh at you.

Well, first of all, I want to sincerely apologize (ha ha) for not saying anything about this until now. Obviously, you are upset because you hold my opinion is such high regard! Like I said above, I didn’t see these comments until yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t make much of a difference because you are just a jackass troll looking for attention and I probably wouldn’t have paid you any mind at the time. So if you’ve been coming here to make fun of me just so you could see what I have to say about it, well then I’m sorry but I’m not under any sort of obligation to say or do anything for anyone. But, hey, it’s your lucky day, because here I am looking for something to write about, and there you are being an idiot. Since this is so enlightening to everyone involved, I’ll grant your wish this time.

Now, let’s be honest here. Both of these messages came in completely anonymously. So, what exactly am I suppose to do about it? Get all upset over how somebody I don’t even know who won’t tell me who they are doesn’t like me and won’t tell me why? Oh, boo hoo! Come on now, get real. Unless you are willing to tell me who you are, I really don’t care if you think my artwork sucks or that I’m a little girl or what have you. It means very little to me.

I mean, let’s face it. There is more than one person out there who thinks I suck. Now unless you all tell me who you are, how in the hell am I supposed to know who’s who? My website is set up so that people can leave anonymous feedback if they so choose, which is fine, because should that feedback be a bunch of juvenile insults then I can laugh and ignore it if I so choose. But if you’re going out of your way to make some sort of statement, and only God knows just what the hell you are trying to prove because I sure don’t, could you at least tell me who you are? Put on a name tag or something! You want me to reply so badly, and you taunt me as if I am scared, but you don’t even have the guts to tell me who you are and why you seem to hate me so much!

What are you afraid of? What is the worst that I could possibly do in retaliation if I knew who you were? I’m a busy man. I’m happy to spend the time writing about this in my weblog because, quite frankly, I’m amused by it and I think other people reading this will be entertained by how much of a moron you are. But otherwise I just don’t seem to have the time that you and people like you seem to enjoy spending in your quest to tell me that I suck. I have better things to do than hunt you down and get revenge. I’m not going to destroy your computer with my Internet powers or get the cops to take you away or anything like that. All I would ever do is completely obliterate you in a battle of wits, just like I’ve done to everyone else. You are otherwise completely safe, so stop being such a bloody coward.

As far as deleting your comments goes, I haven’t deleted anything. It doesn’t work like that. If I don’t want you comments to be there, then they just won’t be there! No deletion necessary because they wouldn’t be there to delete in the first place. Now look, you ask me why I keep deleting *your* comments, but because you don’t leave a proper name and e-mail address, I don’t know who you are, and so I don’t know what comments you are talking about! Don’t be so bloody arrogant to think that you are the only wanker out there who hates me! I have no problem with comments from people who don’t like me. That’s fine. Most of them are funny. But you, coming back again and again (to a website you run by a guy who claim to not even like, no less) just to see if you have made your mark, that’s not funny. That’s pretty sad.

Ah, on second thought, it’s still pretty funny. But I’m twisted like that.

Next, I know that your e-mail address isn’t really ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com like you entered. I know this because, well, that’s my e-mail address now! I just opened up that account, and I’ve got a great idea for what we can do with it. You can just go right ahead and pick whichever of your real, valid, working e-mail addresses that you may happen to be in possession of, and you send whatever spiteful nonsense that happens to tickle your fancy at the moment right on over to ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com. I can’t possibly make it any easier than that. Oh, wait, yes I can. I’ll write that link again. ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com! There. Just click that link and let ‘er rip! But, please, while you are telling me how much my artwork sucks and how I’m 34 years old and how I’m a girl or whatever other garbage you have to say, you could at least afford me a little bit of context to work within and tell me who you are, why you hate me so much, and what exactly you hope to accomplish my telling me this. I really want to know, so that this information may enrich my life!

I’m not going to listen to, respond to, or acknowledge anything hateful you or anyone else has to say right now unless it is sent to ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com. So stay off the guestbook and the contact form and everything else, because you don’t need it anymore. You said that you would keep attacking me until I replied. Well, now I have replied, and everyone has read this and everyone knows how pathetic you are for saying that. I seriously, seriously doubt that you have what it takes to make a difference. I seriously doubt that there is anything you could possibly say that would make me realize what you think is true or change my mind about anything in any way, shape, or form. But I invite you to try and prove me wrong through ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com. Remember, that’s ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com! Just click on it and let’s talk about this! It’s so convenient, you have no excuse not to do it!

Oh, and by the way… umm… let’s see here… you’re a dumb piece of crap and your mother is a ho. There, that should motivate you!

ninjatronsucks@hotmail.com! I’ll be waiting!

Sayonara.

This is shocking! Completely and utterly shocking! I still can’t believe it, but it’s true. As far as I am concerned, this is just the greatest news in all of human history!

You see, people would often ask me what my favorite anime is. Now, I have a lot of favorites, so I usually will just say whichever series I happen to be into the most at the time. But I would do this knowing that if I were to say the name of the one series that ranks above all others in my mind, I would receive a blank stare of confusion. My all time favorite anime is a series that is mostly obscure to the general North American anime fan population, but those who truly know their stuff herald this show as the greatest robot series ever created. My exposure to this show comes from badly translated bootlegs I bought from a Singapore based eBay seller, but even through all the broken English in the subtitles I could see how awesome this series really is.

And yet, dispite how great it is, most people would never know about it because it’s almost 10 years old and has never been officially released outside of Asia. Most of the fans have resolved themselves to how this series would never see a legitimate release in North America. And that is what makes this news so bloody hard to believe! But thanks to Media Blasters, the same company that is bringing us Voltron, it is happening!

Finally, one of the the most awesome animated series of all time has been licensed for distribution in English!

GAOGAIGAR!!!!!!

That’s right, according to Anime on DVD, King of Braves: GaoGaiGar is coming to R1 DVD this August!

Never heard of GaoGaiGar? Let me explain. It’s an incredible show with hotblooded heroes, gigantic robots, and lots of ass kicking! It’s a return to the roots of anime, without any of the angsty pretty boy nonsense that has plagued the medium for so long. This is a show where the good guys are good, the bad guys are bad, and the volume is turned all the way up. Don’t believe me? Just watch this and you’ll see what I mean.

This show is so awesome, and I can’t wait for legitimate copies to finally be available on the shelves. Then, when people ask what my favorite anime is, I can proudly exclaim that it’s GaoGaiGar, the greatest robot series ever created!

FINAL FUSION!

Sayonara.

Ok, this is going to sound crazy, but I had this really weird dream recently. It was pretty vivid, and the imagery seemed very realistic. To the best of my recollection, this is how it went.

I was in a Toys R Us store, looking at stuff that I would want to buy. I have had this sort of toy store dream many times, going all the way back to when I was a kid. Usually the store is full of items that either are no longer available to buy anymore, or items that do not even exist in reality. It’s like a paradise for kids and collectors! With this sort of dream I am always left in a state of disappointment once I realize that none of it is real and I do not actually get to keep everything I see. However, in this particular dream, things worked out a lot differently.

This Toys R Us I was in wasn’t laid out like they are nowadays. It was more like they used to be before the business was renovated. There were long, tall, wide aisles full of action figures. For some reason, likely based on my experiences at a Toys R Us that I used to frequent before it closed down, I could judge from the look of the wall and ceiling that I was in the discount aisle. Score, cheap toys!

There in this discount aisle are some Ninja Turtles figures, and I notice that there is a variation on a certain figure. One figure had some orange colouration on it, while another figure of the same character had the orange replaced by yellow. I distinctly remember holding these two figures up against each other to compare. I had the feeling in this dream that I should be saving money, but since the prices on these figures were good, I bought some anyway. Then I had the feeling that if I was spending a little bit of money, then I might as well spend some more!

So, I looked at the Star Wars figures, located just further up the aisle. The packaging of these figures was very different than what they are really like. It was more along the lines of the vintage Star Wars toys, with large, full colour images of each individual character covering the entire card backing. The figures themselves looked about as detailed as the more modern Star Wars lines. But there was one figure that stood out, and I had to have it. It was Darth Vader, but he had a blue lightsaber instead of red! Woah! What is the story behind that? I can only imagine it being some sort of wild alternate reality where anything is possible. So I had to take that home with me too, and with it I grabbed several more Star Wars figures that were hanging from the same peg. For some reason it was understood to me in this dream that they were not very expensive either.

Well, since I was spending money on all of this stuff, I guess I figured that I might as well buy some more. So I spotted these white, rectangular boxes on a shelf underneath the action figure pegs. I don’t even pause to look at what they are, but for some reason I decide that I’m buying 3 of them. I stick the stack of toys under my arm and go to pay for them. But when I finally get around to looking at these mysterious items, I discover from the side of the packaging that they are sports figures! What did I buy these for? I have no interest in that sort of thing! And to top it all off, two of the three are exactly the same. How could I be so careless? I wonder what I should do with them, and take them out of the plastic shopping bag to get a closer look, only to discover a shocking plot twist.

Despite the packaging, the clear window in the front would reveal that the contents of these boxes were actually not sports figures at all.

They were…. POKEMON!

It is at this point in the dream that I realize that none of this has happened, that I am asleep, and that I probably should be waking up soon. I then feel a soothing sense of relief, because I know that I did not actually spend any of that money, which I had planned to spend for real at TransformersCon this month.

I guess this is what happens when just about everywhere you live and work is covered with action figures. That’s what it’s like for me, and I’ve always enjoyed that. But now, I wonder…

What does it all mean?!

Sayonara.

I had an amazing time at the Ad Astra convention this Saturday. I was only there for a day, but a lot of stuff happened. I’m not going to write a full report for this, so I’ll try my best to collect all my thoughts right here.

This is a very “grown up” convention, for lack of a better term. I love going to comic book and anime cons, but let’s face it, there are a lot of obnoxious little brats there, of all ages, that sully the experience. Ad Astra isn’t like that. It’s lower-key, and everyone is there to have a good time without being annoying.

I saw this Alien vs. Predator fan film called “S.E.E.D.” Not bad for something done by amateur film makers. Really impressive costumes.

Pan told me, out of the blue, that I would be eaten by a shark. I replied that the shark would not continue beyond one failed attempt at a bite. No one was impressed.

They had an anime room there and I saw 4 episodes of Sailor Moon uncut. Hey, this show is actually pretty good! The edited version that DiC produced all those years ago really did the series a disservice.

All of the stage ninjas and masquerade crew worked really hard and I think we delivered a great show. Nothing really went wrong, and there were some incredible costumes. Some of the highlights included 2 Boba Fetts and 1 random Mandelorian Bounty Hunter, a Ghostbuster, Shaak Ti, a Back to the Future skit, and my favorite, Listerine: Action Hero.

We had a ninja pizza party after our duties were concluded. Gordon Rose even came by and joined us. It was fun and we were very noisy. Because this was a special occasion, I succumbed to peer pressure and drank a BAWLS. Just one bottle was likely the most caffeine I had ever consumed in my entire life, and I was feeling it afterwards with a bit of a buzz. I got home very late and was quite tired, but couldn’t sleep. So I watched Revenge of the Sith again. All told I stayed awake for more than 24 hours. Wasn’t really planning on doing that. Oh well.

2 girls grabbed me by the arms and dragged me onto the dance floor. The reality of this situation was slightly less exciting than this brief synopses would imply, but I don’t care because it sounds good. Heh heh.

The best part of the whole show for me was just being able to hang out with friends and people I know from conventions that I don’t get to see very often. I really do honestly think that I am a lucky guy. It was an awesome convention and I had a great time, so thanks go out to everyone who made that happen!

Sayonara.

This is a message specifically intended for the people out there who have taken it upon themselves to anonymously inform me of how much they dislike me, my artwork, and my website.

Bring it!

That’s right, keep it coming! Bring me all of your rage. Bring me your disappointment. Bring me your hatred. Bring me your insults. And tell all your friends to do the same. Believe me, all of that negativity, I want it! Bring it to me! I dare you!

Go ahead! Keep on telling me how bad my art is. Tell me I suck! I want you to. There’s no need to offer any constructive criticism. Keep making immature generalizations. Keep on painting your little picture of how terrible I am in such broad, ignorant strokes. Continue to wrongly assume that it will make a difference, force me to give up, or change any part of my daily life in any fashion.

Keep on talking about how you know other people who are younger and/or dumber than me that also have more talent then me. Please, continue to fail in showing me any examples. Please, continue to not tell me who they are. Please, don’t bother to cite any of your qualifications to make such judgments. Please don’t put anything I do into any sort of proper context either. And please, continue to think that this statement makes me feel bad about myself.

And while you’re at it, go and attack me personally too. Make fun of me. Make fun of my bandana. Mock my beliefs and my philosophies in life. Make fun of how my name is “Ninjatron” and I call myself a ninja. Make fun of how I like anime, because everyone knows that anime sucks. Make fun of my physical appearance. Make fun of how skinny I am, because it’s just so much cooler to be a fat tub of lard. Make fun of my clothing. Make fun of my goatee! And hey, since you’re taking it that far, talk about how I failed college, or how I didn’t even go to college, or other assorted lies. While you’re at it, make another untrue accusation and call me gay! It makes all your points seem just so much more intelligent!

Oh, and since your have such terrible things to say, you might as well conceal your identity behind a fake e-mail address. No need to stand behind your words. No need to own up to your actions. Being anonymous just adds so much credibility, doesn’t it? Please, continue to prove your cowardice. It really helps your case.

In all seriousness, I am a very negative, vengeful, and evil person when I want to be. All of these insults, all of these lies, all of this hatred, it fuels me! I will use it to my advantage. I will eat it for breakfast! It will become my source of energy and inspiration! It will make me continue to do what I do, and thus the only difference it will make will be my continuing to become better and better at it. I will become a success in spite of any garbage that is thrown my way, and there is no force on this planet strong enough to ever prevent that from happening.

If you really didn’t like me, then you’d leave this website right away and never return again. But if my supposed terribleness has become so entertaining to you that you have to tell me all about it, then I honestly thank you! Thank you for your generous contribution! Your intentions will completely and utterly backfire, and I will use all of your negativity to make myself stronger.

You are giving me exactly what I want. That means I win.

I can take it. I can take the worst that anyone has to say about me and still keep going. But there are a whole lot of would-be artists out there, and they all don’t have skin as thick as mine. If I can serve as an example to even just one other artist who has contemplated giving up on their dream after their hard work was rudely maligned like mine has been, then it’s worth it.

So, like I said…

Bring it!

You can’t beat me! I am invincible!

Bwaaaahahahahahahaaa!!!

Sayonara.